Retrospect

Last night,

When my conscience summoned me, I owned all that I was going through with grace. The pain could not seep in even when it had scarred all my boundaries. I owned it. I owned all the shame I was put through. And last night, for the first time I felt empowered by letting go off all the resentment inside me, by embracing acceptance which no more drained me. I didn’t feel like a zombie anymore. I was alive and feeling a sense of acceptance. I forgave myself for being wrong, rather destructive. That moment as I was experiencing was so intense that it flushed all the toxic I was carrying within.

I learnt how faulty and shallow my addressal to rejection was, I was doing everything that was stopping me from becoming a finer person. That’s not how one should welcome a new beginning, that’s not how one should lay the past in rest. I questioned myself, who I want to be – someone who is perfect by every standard or someone who is real from within. There is more capacity to be human in being real. You know where you go wrong and rectify it. You know where you go right and stand by it.

When your unabated ego miserably blurs your vision, you lose the power to discriminate. In that process, what you see is your version of truth, or reality. You walk in it blind-folded. When this self-made bubble bursts, you cut through the different layers of opacity and finally reach your naked heart which was always pure.

So, do you ever realize how easily you allow yourself to be a pawn in the hands of self-cumulated ego which serves nothing but a temporary fixation of a lowered self-esteem?

Real Life Heroes – By Manvi

 

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